Which Wolf Will You Feed?

Which Wolf Will You Feed?

Years ago, this Native American teaching showed up during a time I needed to hear it.  I never tire of its message:

One evening, grandfather told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside him and, in fact, inside all people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside everyone of us. One is evil: It is anger, envy, jealousy, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

“The other is good: It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandfather went on to say that it is sometimes hard to live with both these wolves fighting inside him, trying to dominate his spirit. 

The grandson though about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

“Which wolf will win?…”

The Grandfather simply replied, “The one that I feed”.

Since I am not interested in getting into a philosophical discussion about what is evil and good, I would like to take some poetic license and group wolves and their emotions above into the respective categories “life-negating” and “life-affirming”. 

In working with emotions, I find that it isn’t the emotion itself that is life-negating or life-affirming.  We are generally familiar with the phenomenon that when we stay in a state of resentment, anger, self-pity, it certainly doesn’t FEEL good. When we can’t move through some the life-negating emotions/states of mind listed above, humans tend to choose a path comprised of actions and thoughts that ARE life-negating.  Staying in THAT place with a slew of life-negating behaviors and self-talk thoughts, will no doubt, lead to more misery in the form of poor health, unmanaged stress, strained relationships, etc.   

As the story above illustrates, there is a choice in each moment. When potentially life-negating emotions show up on our path of life (and they WILL show up-over and over again), we have a choice to notice and become present – what exactly is feeding that “life-negating” wolf? Further, we have a choice to see where we can feed the “life-affirming” wolf instead.  In every circumstance, this choice presents itself. 

If you are feeling that the “life-negating” wolf is winning some days, you are not alone and it is possible to find food for the “life-affirming” wolf. Let me know if you need some support.