“Ought”, um, chemistry? Walk in the “shoulds”?
“Ought”, um, chemistry?
Walk in the “shoulds”? Aye – Shortfall.
Mess Drop. Leave… Seize on
OR
Autumn chemistry
Walk in the woods. Sigh. Short Fall.
Yes, drop. Leaf season.
#fridayhaiku #punsarefun #doublemeaning #droptheshouldsandoughts #seizetheday
I spent years with “I should really” or “I ought to” talk running through my head and out my mouth.
That story was motivated by the values I have
– to be a responsible and thoughtful person and
– to choose things that benefit my health and well-being.
Sometimes though, that self-“ought and should”-talk had me spending hours, days, weeks, with silent guilt or shame when I judged myself for not measuring up to
-the standards I had for myself or
-the perceived standards that I thought others had for me.
I personally have always been a pretty self-motivated person. And on some level, that kind of self-talk “pushed” me to get stuff done. However, over the long term, this talk is not of the highest use to oneself.
Besides the guilt and shame that is fed when your judge yourself to “fall short”, the “should-ing all over yourself”, feeds a martyr mentality, erodes authentic compassion for yourself and others, and disconnects you from your highest guidance.
It’s probably apparent to you that saying a lot of “shoulds” and “oughts” to yourself (and creating a side effect of shame, guilt, or that other stuff I mentioned above), isn’t ideal.
You probably know that this is not easy to just *stop doing it*.
This is the thing about behavior change.
Be willing, open, or curious about looking at the motivation for the behavior.
This will be a smoother process with abundant internal energy and with an authentic commitment to your highest guiding principles.
[Hmmm? What are those principles exactly?]Now, we all have things that are in the realm of our responsibilities. Some of these are on the grand scale of good for humanity and some are on the smaller scale of responsibilities in our families, to ourselves, to our jobs, clients, etc.
I am not saying that we “ought” [hahaha] to shirk our responsibilities, but instead “choose” to do things with a new heart-set and mind-set.
What would it be like for you to identify your responsibilities and then carry them out (as best you can at first) with kindness, humility, calmness, and openness?
I prefer that myself. It’s smoother.
There is harmony in bringing those qualities to things I used to begrudge.
And there are other things that I used to begrudge doing, that I can see now weren’t in my highest or another person’s interest to be doing in the first place.
And so I don’t do them anymore.
To practice meeting each task, responsibility, etc with complete kindness, humility, calmness, and openness, start by deciding to meet each moment with a clean slate: Not weighing the past. Not guessing the future.
Seize the moment. Ground yourself. Then take action with an expanding heart.
Flow. Let the rest drop away.
The Lightness in the YES
A true Yes or No?
(Verses Story). How to know?
Resistance is neither.
~~~
When we can decide that it is simply this or that, yes or no, go or stay, do or don’t do, speak or stay quiet, etc there is *no story*.
When it’s clear to make, the decision feels *light*.
And that is how you can KNOW. This takes practice. And the cultivation of your internal energy and power along with expanding the capacity of your heart and your love definitely supports this. What about AFTER you decide?
I was talking with a client last week about evaluating decisions and being aware of the extraneous “story themes” that interfere with truly knowing what the best decision is for you at the moment.
By story themes I mean big broad loud stories that might be habitually playing in your head as you make decisions:
What if this is the wrong choice?
Who do I think I am?
I can’t afford it.
I can’t do it.
They won’t like it.
They will think I am stupid.
What if I change my mind?
[add your own]
Anyhow, with this client, we were discussing how sometimes there is a lot riding on a decision and that creates anxiety.
The antidote is exercising the muscle of *trust* regularly. Trust that before, during, and after making a decision that it was the best, most life-affirming at that moment.
I recently made a couple of big decisions that will have a giant effect on the next three months of my life. I said “yes” to having an experience.
At first, there were the usual story themes (I had several of the ones I listed above running through LOL).
And then, a simple YES.
And even though it has been a tremendous leap of faith and a giant undertaking, I have never once regretted it and I don’t intend to (wink). This particular decision is completely in line with my vision for my life and this will be EASY and SIMPLE even though it will be filled with growing opportunity.
FLOW FLOW FLOW.
#fridayhaiku #españa #bilbao #sayyes
Woo-woo or Time-Tested Wisdom
When people ask me what I do for a living, I generally answer: I show women (who’ve tried a lot of things already) to end the negative impact of anxiety, anger, and/or overwhelm on their health and enjoyment of their lives.
“Are you a therapist?” usually follows my “what do you do” answer.
This is when the person I am talking to might decide that what I do is too WOO-WOO or fluffy or weird to get actual results.
No, I am not a therapist. I go on to answer “HOW” I show my clients how to reclaim their lives:
“I teach my clients how to get stronger on the inside with a powerful method of building and balancing their internal energy and explain how to get the most benefit from that method. I provide direct support for them to evolve efficiently using medical qi gong protocol, coaching skills, and western and eastern mindset guidance so that they can disentangle from what has kept them connected to stories and patterns that have fueled a pattern of anxiety, frustration, and emotional (and even physical) pain.”
Here’s what I found on my own journey to get back my own life: Not one intervention really worked or worked for long to drastically change my overwhelm and resentment, my inner dialogue of griping, or to improve my chronic health conditions (including physical pain).
[I acknowledge that some interventions brought me relief, a temporary felt sense of calm, and gave me hope.I am grateful for that.
Even though I felt better for a while, I wasn’t really getting better. My scary health diagnosis remained, I was still in pain most of the time, and my emotional state was almost always a little bit or a lot AGITATED.]
Apparently, the typical approach of western medicine and western therapy was not going to alleviate my patterns of anxiety and apathy toward joy. I required something outside the box.
In my case, and also for most people out there who are feeling stuck or like their health is slowly (or rapidly) slipping, I was depleted of Qi: I had some long-standing patterns of low and out-of-balance Qi in my body and mind.
Qi (pronounced “Chee”) is a Chinese word for foundational energy. The energy that supports life and functions in the body. The source of your immunity and metabolism. Animating force. We are in it all the time – like fish in water, we don’t even notice it for most of our life. Perhaps though, you are aware already of this energy inside of you. You may have felt the energy of another person or a group of people. Or noticed it in animals, or food, or plants…
It wasn’t imaginary.
[This is where you might decide what I am talking about is woo-woo, weird, against your religion, or not real and you stop reading. I invite you to stick with me a little longer though if you’ve gotten this far.]Have you ever noticed the energy in your body?
I invite you to try this: Focus on your hands right now. Close your eyes. Can you notice the subtle energy there? Or perhaps focus on the last time you were angry. Is there a place you can feel this emotion “in the physical body”? Now recall someone you love. Relax the body. Breathe. Is there a place in the body you feel that love?
Perhaps you noticed something as you focused in this way above. That is Qi.
Note: This energy isn’t about a religion or spirituality – although the faiths of this world do recognize this energy in their own way and language. There is absolutely nothing woo-woo about this foundational, internal energy in the body nor about the millennia of knowledge about how to correct and increase it for better health and happier life.
Think of Qi as the gas in your car. If you don’t have it, it won’t matter what kind of maintenance or flashy upgrades your car has. You aren’t going far if you don’t have much gas or if your gas tank is full of sludgy mess.
When people have support to improve the quantity and quality of that foundational energy or Qi, they stick with cultivating it. And circumstances, responses, and emotional states get better and better.
We need Qi to be abundant and in the right balance to really get better and not just feel better:
This is not woo-woo – it’s ancient wisdom.
Cultivation of Qi and being curious and diligent about broadening your intention or presence is what has been missing from the conventional (and many unconventional) efforts to transform fear, overwhelm, anger, and self-deprecating thoughts.
This perspective I share with my clients (and prospective clients) offers a profound turning point so that, from this point forward, they begin to transform what has been causing them the most pain so that they become more resilient in the face of situations or thoughts that led to anxiety, anger, and/or overwhelm.
Having support from someone else who cultivates their own foundational energy to assist with improving the quality of others’ Qi can change everything. Even if health or immunity or metabolism weren’t their main concerns, diligent clients have seen these aspects of life improve too.
If what you have been doing hasn’t worked or stuck to change where you are with your anxiety, overwhelm, and/or resentment, maybe you would benefit from something outside the box too.
I offer two programs to support the transformation of anxiety, anger, and overwhelm immediately and a formula to stay resilient. 1) One is shorter, with a strong foundation in qi gong, medical qi gong healing, and direct and group support from me. 2) The other does the same but is a longer healing mentorship that provides a deeper dive into uncovering and healing what has kept you from developing a resilient emotional state. This is accomplished by more direct and private one-on-one support in addition to teaching modules. Please private message me on Facebook or via email if you’d like to discuss how these intensives work and which is best for you.
Please private message through Facebook or respond to this email if you would like to explore if this is a good fit for you now because you’ve decided that you want to do more than maintain and mitigate – you desire a happier and healthier life where things keep getting better and better and you flow with what is happening around you.
Peace be with you.
Erin Tracy