Resistance.

“The more scared we are of work or a calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” – Stephen Pressfield, War of Art

What are you in resistance about the most? Are your stories keeping you stuck? I talk to people every day who spend so much energy in resistance they have little energy left for anything else. Not that useful.

Choose to see your resistance as a gift showing you the next place to expand and heal. 

I can assure you that the more you resist something the more interesting it is to look at what is really going on there. 

What does resistance mean?

Does it mean if you said “Yes” to something and you are now regretting it, that you made a mistake?

The more interesting question

The more interesting questions are “what is the story you are attaching to the resistance?” and “what is the meaning you have made of that story?”

It just doesn’t feel right. I don’t really enjoy their company. That won’t work for me. I am too tired.  I really ought to make time for her. It’s a complete waste of time. I dread it. They don’t really want me to. I suck at that. I just am not going to put up with that #$%. [Insert your story here.]

What does your “resistance chatter” sound like? What has been the meaning you have attached to that chatter? Is it true?

The last question is the hardest to answer authentically, in my experience. Because if our stories and chatter of resistance and the meaning we attached to it were true, there would be no resistance.

If the meaning were “true”, it would be a simple Yes.  Or a simple No.  Without ensuing chatter and drama and suffering.  There would be no resistance.

One of my most infamous stories that I come up with know when there is a part of me that knows it’s time to evolve is:

“I just don’t want to.”

I have endeavored for years to drop the stories of obligation from the choices I make, to drop the “shoulds”. So sometimes, when I am in resistance, my story has become, “I just don’t want to.”

My stories typically came up when I was invited to do something that will make me visible. Or when I create a story that I am going to have a difficult time connecting with people. Perhaps when I know that I can support someone but they aren’t yet willing to take a stand for themselves. Or I feel I don’t deserve it.  Or I fear I won’t have the time.

How about getting up at 5:45am to practice Tai Chi, meditation, and qi gong? That is freakin’ early.

“Yeah, I don’t want to do that.

I will just sleep another hour.” 

[I have that conversation with myself about twice a week. I get up anyway.]

It seems way easier to stay home in my dog-walking clothes/binge-watch Handmaid’s Tale/just shrug and give up. 

“I deserve to flake out. I work hard. There’s a lot going on.”

TOO vulnerable. TOO tired. Just TOO busy. It’s TOO much.

And you know what? It’s often NOT TRUE, that “I don’t want to.” 

It’s a belief.

Then I remember, when I have strong foundational energy and a big intention to connect, love, heal, empower, AND that I am actually NOT vulnerable (nothing can hurt me), NOT tired (I choose random energy infusion), NOT over-scheduled (I can plan my own schedule). It’s all as it should be.

I recognize my resistance. I GREET it. Choose gratitude for it and move forward anyway choosing a fondness for the moment and a smile for the story.

Because choosing No and Yes is easy – not a struggle. If it feels like a struggle, this could be resistance and it’s coming up to show you something.

Peace be with you.