Kindness Archives - Empower Wellness

Life With No Regrets

August 10, 2018 By Erin Tracy, Medical Qi Gong and Health Coaching

Life with no regrets. I have made this an intention for quite a number of years now and was pondering how this intention has shifted my perspective in enormous ways. I am writing this now as I sit outside at a local coffee shop where I have come to work on administrative tasks. A young mom with her two preschool age children have arrived and occupy the lounge area in front of me. They are chatty and happy – delightfully sharing a pastry. A lull this rainy afternoon means the usually full outdoor couches are empty, allowing the young girls to playfully arrange the cushions (no harm done) and watch the sparrows pick up crumbs.

A warm feeling spreads across my chest.

In this moment, I think of myself when my own children were that age about 14 years ago. I attempt to remember if I experienced moments like that with my kids. Instead of regret or dwelling on the fact that I cannot remember many moments of relaxed glee, I warmly and fondly think of that younger version of myself.

You were doing the best you could with the tools that you had.

I take a few breaths and send the mom before me in the moment AND the younger version of myself COMPASSION: A sincere wish and prayer: to be free of suffering and the root of suffering; to know happiness and the root of happiness. I choose to allow my heart to smile at this woman and her children at Starbucks and at myself and my kids more than a decade earlier.

That might sound bananas: My Heart To Smile?

Back then I had no tools for dealing with stress and high anxiety. Everything felt like and emergency or a fire to put out. While I did have an intense life then, there was plenty to be thankful for. There were many moments to relax and enjoy the moment. However, my memories of actually doing that are few and far between.

Over time, the intensity with which I greeted life, started to take a toll on my health. It certainly didn’t do any favors for my contentment and ability to go with the flow.

Chronic pain and a health crisis brought to light the fact that I needed to calm down.

These days, I write and speak about the role of a powerful qi gong practice called Pangu Shengong (qi gong) in helping not only build my internal energy but also to CALM DOWN. I am stronger now than I have ever been (even during my triathlon years). I sleep well. I have FREEDOM from physical pain (huge). My relationships are strong and I am blessed to have incredible people in my life. I am doing what I love and was meant to do for a living. It is an honor.

No Joke. Everyday I feel like life keeps getting better.

Better – In the midst of “stressful” events happening: Life IS happening. People are sometimes challenging. Teenagers are sometimes frustrating. Unexpected and expensive car repairs show up. Someone close to me has a health crisis. Etcetera.

Practice Compassion in big broad ways, including transforming a tendency to have regrets. Become stronger internally, not just externally. Great personal power resides in choosing to allow our HEART to SMILE at what stirs up discomfort in us – Our hearts to smile at what WE DO NOT LIKE. Catch Regret. And Choose authentically to have No Regrets in the first place.

It’s a game changer.

It heals.

No regrets is a Compassion practice. Compassion is not just a nice thing to have for yourself or others. It heals. Just building your energy isn’t enough. Elevate your heart and soul too.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Peace in Taking Responsibility

February 17, 2018 By Erin Tracy, Medical Qi Gong and Health Coaching

The happiest and most important thing a person can do is correct one’s own error.
– Ou, Wen Wei, Path of Life Volume 1

This is a quote from the Path of Life Volume 1, Chapter 30. Personally, I find peace in taking responsibility for my actions and my emotions. When I make the choice to stop (or not to start) beating myself up for something I did or said, but instead choose to check in with my ego and step up with as much humility as I can access in the moment and correct the error, it actually feels GOOD – freeing. I feel stronger, not weaker, on the other side of the events. It is actually EASIER to correct one’s error and move on with a happy, calm and free heart. Definitely, it’s EASIER than digging in, being self-righteous, resentful, mired in shame or guilt, etc.

It wasn’t always this way for me

It wasn’t always this way for me, even though I was raised within a “love thy neighbor” household: A SIMPLE concept to love others – not always EASY to really live and embody. Definitely not.

I am no stranger to wanting to be right – wanting to win; no stranger to indignation or self-righteous thoughts

I am no stranger to wanting to be right – wanting to win; no stranger to indignation or self-righteous thoughts. …And I am certainly familiar with the pattern of beating myself up over actions (or inactions) or words that I initiated. Over these last 6 years, Pangu Shengong practice and studying with Master Ou, Wen Wei has helped me have a stronger foundation so that it’s actually EASY to choose calm, humility, and loving-kindness. This takes the weight off; allows me to claim my emotions and actions and take responsibility for them. FREEING.

What joy comes from letting go

What joy comes from letting go of the perceived judgment of others when I feel solid and rooted in my authentic actions and words! Not only do I move through my days with more joy, but I my chronic pain is gone, plaguing health concerns have vanished, and I consistently sleep well and wake up rested.

Also since practicing Pangu Shengong, I notice and interact differently when others are “correcting their errors” either with me or with others and have more compassion for their efforts. The uselessness of “they knew they were wrong/I was right” or any kind of self-righteous judgment of others is EASY to see now. Softening to what “is” when it comes to other’s baggage and obstacles is much more pleasant than going to battle with it.

In the broader context of the world, there are instances and examples of our culture moving this way – of correcting past actions, of forgiving both themselves and others. Every now and then you even hear a politician or policy leader do this. Of course, in our current climate, we are also going the other way.

Ultimately, peace starts at the grassroots in our own microcosms.

That is where the power is. At a bigger broader level, we have so far to go as the public sphere stays in a blame game and “us against them“ mentality. What if it’s true that we, the individuals, HAVE to be the ones to elevate – to STEP UP to make real change, to bring real, lasting and deep healing in our bodies and to the larger world context. I welcome that challenge. So, I keep looking at what is getting in the way of me doing that fully: I correct, I forgive, I love, I am happy. Repeat.

Are you interested in learning a form of cultivating healing energy and bringing the body into balance? This practice is the ancient art of Qi Gong. I am certified to teach the first two levels of Pangu Shengong, a particularly powerful and simple method that not only strengthens the physical body but also goes deeper to support heart and soul healing.

Learn

I am teaching the Foundational Qi Cultivation Course, Pangu Moving Form Qi Gong, Saturday, Feb 24, 2018 9:30am-11:00am ($120), at my NEW office inside Carolina Center for Integrative Medicine, 4505 Fair Meadow Ln, Suite 111. Sign up in advance here: https://www.empowerwellness.com/schedule/

If you can’t attend, but want to learn more, please contact me.

AND Qi Gong Master Ou, Wen Wei will be making his annual visit to Raleigh, June 22-25, 2018. Save the date! Classes, lectures, and group healing opportunities!

Setting Boundaries

September 5, 2017 By Erin Tracy, Medical Qi Gong and Health Coaching

Chances are you’ve had times in your life where you regretted not setting boundaries. Or in setting boundaries, you felt like you alienated someone or deserted them. Or perhaps you often feel irritated or resentful that you even have to set boundaries with certain people.

Setting Boundaries to protect your time, well-being, your health, your sleep, etc. can be instrumental in accessing more calm, feeling more peaceful, and getting well. What are some indications that you need to set boundaries with people in your life and acquaintances?

you feel drained in group or some one-on-one interactions.
resentment creeps in when you do things for others that seem to go unappreciated.
other people seem to make you responsible for their feelings and actions
you feel responsible for others’ feelings and emotions and even their choices (hmmm…).
you avoid setting limits and stating end times to interactions because you might seem rude.
you frequently find yourself in situations spending more time and energy than you planned for and therefore something else important on your schedule suffers.
you frequently feel taken advantage of

Set boundaries with strength, peace, and clarity

As someone who struggled with boundary setting for many years, I can relate. Setting boundaries with an open – heart resulted in less interpersonal drama and set the stage for stronger connections with mutual respect.

Set boundaries with LOVE – not irritation. It’s not the other party’s fault that they can’t read your mind or that they aren’t aware of your needs. It’s your job to communicate (kindly and calmly whenever possible) what those needs are.
Setting clear, calm, and open-hearted boundaries helps let go of the notion that we can control how others respond to our communicated boundaries.
Be clear that other people don’t control your emotions. If the same situation with the same people activates feelings in you that you don’t enjoy, then change the situation or change the way you look at it.
Don’t take personally that people operate from their own set of assumptions.
When it’s time for you to leave, do so and leave martyr-like stories (expressed or in your head) out of it.

This list while SIMPLE is not always EASY to implement. If we can set clear boundaries with a calm and open-hearted intention that honors our own time, space, and our health needs, we can more fully show up for others to support them when needed. Setting boundaries with kindness is SELF-CARE and NOT SELFISH.

This point of view may be new to you or even creating some cognitive dissonance. Yet, you may also be feeling that fully claiming a new paradigm around these ideas could be quite FREEING for you.

Contact me. I love talking to people (no obligation ever to explore) about how transformative change around setting boundaries can affect their energy, health, and well-being.