“Ought”, um, chemistry? Walk in the “shoulds”?

“Ought”, um, chemistry?
Walk in the “shoulds”? Aye – Shortfall.
Mess Drop. Leave… Seize on

OR

Autumn chemistry
Walk in the woods. Sigh. Short Fall.
Yes, drop. Leaf season.
#fridayhaiku #punsarefun #doublemeaning #droptheshouldsandoughts #seizetheday

I spent years with “I should really” or “I ought to” talk running through my head and out my mouth.

That story was motivated by the values I have
– to be a responsible and thoughtful person and
– to choose things that benefit my health and well-being.

Sometimes though, that self-“ought and should”-talk had me spending hours, days, weeks, with silent guilt or shame when I judged myself for not measuring up to
-the standards I had for myself or
-the perceived standards that I thought others had for me.

I personally have always been a pretty self-motivated person. And on some level, that kind of self-talk “pushed” me to get stuff done. However, over the long term, this talk is not of the highest use to oneself.

Besides the guilt and shame that is fed when your judge yourself to “fall short”, the “should-ing all over yourself”, feeds a martyr mentality, erodes authentic compassion for yourself and others, and disconnects you from your highest guidance.

It’s probably apparent to you that saying a lot of “shoulds” and “oughts” to yourself (and creating a side effect of shame, guilt, or that other stuff I mentioned above), isn’t ideal.

You probably know that this is not easy to just *stop doing it*.

This is the thing about behavior change.

Be willing, open, or curious about looking at the motivation for the behavior.

This will be a smoother process with abundant internal energy and with an authentic commitment to your highest guiding principles.

[Hmmm? What are those principles exactly?]

Now, we all have things that are in the realm of our responsibilities. Some of these are on the grand scale of good for humanity and some are on the smaller scale of responsibilities in our families, to ourselves, to our jobs, clients, etc.

I am not saying that we “ought” [hahaha] to shirk our responsibilities, but instead “choose” to do things with a new heart-set and mind-set.

What would it be like for you to identify your responsibilities and then carry them out (as best you can at first) with kindness, humility, calmness, and openness?

I prefer that myself. It’s smoother.

There is harmony in bringing those qualities to things I used to begrudge.

And there are other things that I used to begrudge doing, that I can see now weren’t in my highest or another person’s interest to be doing in the first place.
And so I don’t do them anymore.

To practice meeting each task, responsibility, etc with complete kindness, humility, calmness, and openness, start by deciding to meet each moment with a clean slate: Not weighing the past. Not guessing the future.

Seize the moment. Ground yourself. Then take action with an expanding heart.

Flow. Let the rest drop away.