For years, even before I had kids, I would careen head first into the holidays: Taking on way too much, eating way too much stuff that I knew wasn’t good for me, drinking too much socially, freaking out about my house that was not perfect, overdoing the decorating (usually single-handedly), planning to do too much without scheduling downtime. And most Januarys (and some early Decembers), I would end up VERY sick. Sometimes even in excruciating pain that led to emergency room visits or expensive tests.
It is clear now, that the predictable pattern came from not taking care of myself at the holidays.
I not only was not taking care of myself, but I did not enjoy the festivities of the holidays because I was so over-extended and exhausted. My family definitely did not enjoy the stressed out, over-extended version of me. One of the best gifts I can my family and friends is to be a healthy, joyful, and balanced version of me.
Here are a few tips so that you can move towards a more healthy, joyful, and balanced version of YOU for the holidays.
PLAN HEALTHY EATING IN ADVANCE
Make a plan so you don’t overdo the sugar, “bad” fats, and alcohol this season. I get that one of the joys of the season is all the delicious options – you don’t have to skip the deliciousness all together (I would never advise that).
Before attending an event or having people over, plan time in your “getting ready” to eat healthy foods before you go out to take care of yourself. Why? You won’t arrive starving to your event. You will help regulate your blood sugar by putting these foods in your body beforehand. I’m sure you are familiar with the blood sugar crash/craving cycle. Not pretty.
Fill up on healthy snacks before you will be around all the wonderful goodies of the season. Before going to a shin-dig, eat a big leafy salad or a serving or two of veggies. There usually isn’t a plethora of these types of foods on the wonderful buffets. Get your healthy fix beforehand.
Fix yourself a high-protein smoothie with a scoop of anti-oxidant green powder.
No matter how busy things get, don’t skip breakfast and lunch, you’ll be starving and you blood sugar will drop and you will will crave the sugary high fat sweets that are undoubtedly all around the house and office this time of year.
Be picky about your sugary and full of saturated fat indulgences: Handfuls of Hershey’s Kisses or peanut M&Ms – probably in the “not worth it” category. But a small slice of homemade pumpkin or pecan pie? In the “worth it” category. Just say no to eating and buying treats for your family and for gifts that are full of artificial flavors and colors. Focus on the higher quality treats for your family and get togethers and say no to cheaper, but highly processed stuff full of artificial flavors, colors, and sweeteners.
Drink lots of water and tea before you go out or entertain. Keep drinking water through out the evening (although I am a fan of having water between meals and not a lot with food). Stop drinking coffee at lunch. Really. If you think you need a little caffeine try green tea.
Have a mutually supportive moderation-in-drinking buddy (assuming you are not driving).
CLEAR CLUTTER FROM YOUR CALENDAR
Only attend events that you know will bring you (and those tagging along with you) JOY! Say NO to events that you feel obligated to attend or that you know will drain you. I promise at no time of year is this more important than now. Leave plenty of free nights and then don’t fill them up with shopping, or other seasonal tasks. And HEY! Do not cut regular exercise or movement from your “to do list”. If anything, make more of an effort to make sure it happens during the season.
What to do if you must attend something that you are not feeling JOY and excitement about? Or you know that the interactions might stress and drain you?
- Download this E-booklet from my home page on my website to get encouragement and support about how to approach any tough situation with a more grounded and open mindset. Short title: Transform Pain and Stress into Empowerment and Radiant Health.
- Remember: The situation will be temporary (i.e. you won’t be having your relatives stay with you indefinitely, you will leave your in-laws in just a few short days, etc.). Breathe and relax and know that you will be back home or have an empty house soon enough.
- With people that you have unresolved issues or much tension who you can’t easily chose to avoid, I invite you to see what happens when you watch your interactions with them from outside yourself: Where is your ego playing into the tension? Their ego? Is there fear or a threat that you are aware of where this person is concerned? Notice the dynamics of the relationship(s) from the outside. This takes practice – I can help.
- Where can you connect to a full sense of unconditional love for them and for the push and pull of the relationship? Even just a tiny bit? This takes practice – I can help. 🙂 If in Raleigh, come to the twice a month guided healing meditation to see where they may be some space for you to open your heart in ways that are less painful.
TAKE AT LEAST 15 MINUTES DAILY OF RELAXED, CENTERING TIME THAT FEEDS YOU
If your first thought is, I don’t have 15 minutes in my day, then this tip is especially for you. Take a look at where the “time sucks” are in your life. For most of us, those things involve electronic screens in some way… Go to bed earlier and make a commitment to getting up 15 minutes earlier (this is easy this time of year with the recent ending of Daily Savings Time). Set the alarm, actually get up out of the bed – stretch, light exercise, yoga, qi gong, meditate.
Need a mindfulness practice or to understand how powerful it is: I am giving a FREE class on Intro Qi Gong and Qi Gong Healing next Tues, November 15 at 6:00PM at my office building. This is followed by instruction in the Pangu Moving Form Qi Gong at 7:00PM til 8:30PM. This is a GREAT practice to start this time of year to ground you, support you, and help you stay well.
CLEAR CLUTTER FROM YOUR SPACE
By the weekend before Thanksgiving, be ruthless with decluttering. Clean up and straighten. Get things to a “good enough” place. Then keep it that way. You can do this if you make time for it (see helpful tip above about decluttering your calendar). Let go of perfectionism here.
Do you know Flylady? She saved my sanity when I was a young stay-at-home mom with an infant and toddler. I still use her techniques to stay sane at home. Once you get the house to the “good enough” place, keep that way by teaching the people who live with you and yourself to pick up afterwards. Spend 15 minutes a day picking up after yourself (so do the other people who live there). Hey! Just start where you are…
To speed straighten/declutter: Set the timer for 5-10 minutes and do everything you can in a room in that time. When time is up, deliver the items that you found in that room that don’t belong to their rightful spot, and set the timer again and do the next room. Or spend a chunk of time (with the timer) in a room a day. Vacuum “the middles”. Dust with a duster.
Letting go of perfectionism will make you happier – trust me. Later on, when you have the time and inclination, you can do nitty-gritty work. Flylady.net has a BUNCH of other great stuff for coming out from under the overwhelm that your home can make you feel.
GIFT GIVING WITH PRESENCE
If you participate in a tradition this time of year that involves gift giving, now is the time to evaluate if your traditional way of approaching this is serving you. I know not everyone struggles with this, but I talk to plenty of people who do, so I mention it here. Some questions to ask to shed light on this might be:
- Do I go into great debt every year because of how much I spend at the holidays on gifts?
- Does the time I spend picking out, purchasing, wrapping, giving gifts bring me JOY?
- Do I notice that loved ones don’t always appreciate what they have received? Consequently, am I bothered by that?
- Do I feel overwhelmed by receiving gifts?
So take a mindful look at your patterns and see where there can be a subtle and slight shift to more mindful and joyful gift-giving and receiving. Write out everyone who you would like to give something to, brainstorm what you might give, write that down too. Set a budget and stick to it. Particularly for the kids.
For those on your list who you are challenged to decide what to get them, make a donation in their name to a organization that would benefit. World Vision and Heifer Project are great examples of such organizations but there are undoubted local organizations that would benefit too. Here’s a good local one that is close to my heart.
This blog covers well this idea of keeping it real and focused and also alternative gift giving. Nuff said.
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These are basic and totally do-able mindset and actionable tips that I hope will help you sail through the holidays with more joy, better health, and more balance. If you know that you get stuck implementing this or any other new pattern you know that would serve you, please contact me so that we can discuss how we might work together to support you to have the experience you want this season or in life in general.
[You may find it helpful to download this e-booklet I wrote with mindset and living tips and experiential exercises. You will be subscribed to a series of about 7 emails and my newsletter. It is totally easy to unsubscribe whenever you want – I promise I won’t be offended. See link on this page (below) to the ebook or else find it here on the home page: The Instant Healing Solution]
May you connect to the peace within you this season and always,
Erin <3